Sexuality is more sophisticated than we think, and can be a surprise. Today we are figuring out how to bring good sex back to a relationship with a long time ago.
Visit a doctor
The problems associated with sex in long-term relationships are sometimes not related to matters of passion, love, or desire. In terms of sex, the age of 40-50 is a kind of Rubicon.
Women more and more often enter menopause around this age, and men begin to feel changes in erectile function.
Changes in the level of sex hormones strongly affect libido, and various diseases (associated with the work of other organs, not necessarily genital) – on the physiological ability to have sex.
If the spouses feel that there is less sex and that it has lost quality, it makes sense to consult a doctor. A woman – to a gynecologist, endocrinologist; a man – to a urologist or andrologist.
First of all, it is worth checking the level of sex hormones, the work of the heart, the state of the blood vessels. Perhaps the problem lies in the lack of vitamins or trace elements, in an insufficiently active lifestyle, in addiction to smoking, alcohol or drugs, or in the presence of pathologies that affect the level of sexual life.
If the problem is not in the body, it will not be superfluous for both partners to seek help from a psychologist-sexologist. It is much easier to sort out sexual troubles and romantic relationships when there is a third, independent party nearby. And if this party is a qualified psychologist, success is almost guaranteed.
Find an alternative
Problems in sex after 40 are mainly related to physiological nuances. In men, this is due to an erection: it is more difficult to achieve it, it is harder to maintain throughout the entire sexual intercourse, it is more difficult to reach orgasm, or, conversely, to restrain ejaculation for the time necessary to satisfy the partner.
Age-related changes also leave their mark on women. Reducing, and then completely stopping, the production of the hormone estrogen, leads to a weakening of the tone of the muscles of the vagina, a decrease in the level of natural lubrication (hence the problem of dryness). Sex for a woman can become unpleasant or even painful.
Fortunately, sex isn’t just about penis-vaginal stimulation. And mature age, coupled with many years of experience living together, is an excellent field for experimentation.
Most likely, you already know each other’s sexual addictions well enough and can talk openly about sex – this is a huge plus. The search for new erogenous zones, new forms of sexual interaction, the invention of new ways to deliver and receive pleasure – all this is available, you just need to want.Read also
Here are some facts to help you cheer up:
1. The ability to orgasm in men does not directly depend on the quality of erection. Skillful stimulation of even an incompletely erect penis in most cases ends with ejaculation, while the sensations remain the same bright.
2. The vast majority of couples who have been in a relationship for more than five years admit that a change of scene works best for sexual desire. At the same time, you can change not only the places, but also the context, as well as the roles.
3. Age over 35 is considered the peak of female sexuality. By forty, women are most likely to learn how to enjoy sex. They stop being ashamed of their desires and begin to understand them.
In addition, over the years, their ability to experience orgasms does not disappear. They are more attached to the head in women, and although they depend on blood circulation, like in men, heart problems or vascular patency will not affect their quality.
See your partner differently
The passion that lovers strive for is acutely linked to feelings of novelty, falling in love, and stress and fear.
In long-term relationships, as a rule, comfort and calmness come to the place of passion. Age after forty for many is associated with stability: children have already grown up (or even acquired their own housing), a profitable business has been found, the housing issue has been resolved. It’s time to look inside yourself and pay attention to your partner.
You’ve come a long way. You probably have a bunch of pleasant memories and days behind you that you want to return to. Both of you are different people, and if you put you and your twenty-year-old versions next to each other, you will surely find more than a dozen differences.Read also
In a long-term relationship, life often becomes routine, and having a partner nearby is taken for granted. Try to look at the other half in a new way, study the person next to you again.
Do you feel love, trust, respect, tenderness towards him? Interested in his life, affairs, mood, dreams and aspirations? Do you miss him during periods of separation, are hugs, kisses, touches pleasant and desirable in your couple? Are you interested in being together after many years of marriage?
Ultimately, if all that keeps you together is obligations regarding children and jointly acquired property, and between you there are only claims, reproaches and longing for your old love, it is unlikely that you will be able to revive your sex life.
Sex in any relationship is more of a bonus, and it should be treated as a gift that appears on favorable soil.
Age is just a number, so swap your fantasies, have romantic dinners, go out on dates and remember that sex can (and probably will) be different!